Parenting tests for the unprepared
If you are considering becoming parents, try these simple tests:
Get ready to go out. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you’ve had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Yup, that’s about right. In a day where my son:
- Took most of the letters off of the G4
- Rubbed blueberries into the playroom carpet
- Hid Seth’s glasses
- Dumped uncooked pasta (which he was eating)
- Dumped cooked pasta (which he was eating)
- Stole another kid’s food
these tests don’t seem like much of an exaggeration.
From The Presurfer.