Learn karate to open doors
My favorites (the ones before the 27 huge Sugar Smax pictures):
If you do get trapped under something, amuse yourself with flashlight games.
Do not open the door for radiation, now matter how politely it knocks.
IN THE EVENT OF A TERRORIST ATTACK, BEST BUY WILL UNVEIL ITS “TERRORRIFIC SUPER SALE”!!!!!!!
Just don’t ever go to Texas. EVER.
before you let authorities know about chemical leak, wash your hands thoroughly
Remember to be travelling at exactly 88 MPH before driving into any high voltage lines.
Consider moving to one of the solar system’s outer planets
deny the satanic mutterings of the window
In the event of an emergency your filing cabinets will become intimidating. Do not file or organize for they are tall and angry.
You must be this tall to ride the escape route
terrorists may use radio frequencies to broadcast propaganda and/or Britney Spears
Someone set up us the bomb.